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Kapuscinski, Part III*

I have finally finished Ryszard Kapuscinski's Lapidaria. The book took a while to read because it was so very interesting and intense. I've managed to gather up a large number of quotes, so I will post them from time to time so not to bore you. His reflections on literature, politics, poverty and history are fascinating. I hope you'll enjoy the quotes (when I find the time to post them).

*Part I and II are to be found earlier, untitled, but the archives are on the fritz again, so I can't point to them.

Is it Friday yet?

Today was a day that I don't want to repeat for a long time to come. The Internet at school wasn't working and I needed it for various projects. Then, the telephones went weird for a while, so I couldn't ring to find out about train tickets for groups. Next Friday, I am taking 48 students and 4 other staff members to Cambridge for Activities' Day. So, when I finally did get through to the railway of our region, what did I find out? They may not have the facilities to take us. So, politely, I ask if it's possible for them to attach another carriage for the 53 of us. She says that they don't have any extra carriages.

Have I mentioned before how much I love the rail service in this country?

Finally, after much begging and pleading she agrees to sell me the tickets but also tells me that we will probably have to stand. Fine. I am so looking forward to a Friday where 48 kids and 5 staff have to stand for nearly an hour on a packed train. I just hope it's a nice day and not rainy.

Afternoon arrives and the kids in the library (where I do my lunch duty on Wednesday) are mental. And how. Books getting shoved off. Kids running around chucking things at each other. I ask them to leave, they sneak back in. Walking through the detectors with books under their shirts, so that the sensors go off. Kids going out through the emergency exit. I was knackered and ready to call it a day by 1:50 when the duty finished.

Lesson five was a nightmare and my lovely, but noisy year 9s decided that today was going to be hell day and would not stop talking. At all. Lesson six was painful, but only midly so because I showed the kids a video they've already watched. Nothing annoys kids more than watching the same science video twice. This from a group of people who ask me the same question at least three times within a 50-minute period.

Then, I come home to a harsh note from the painters, who are painting the window frames and doors telling me off for shutting my windows. How silly of me to shut my windows. I mean, how dare I close my windows and not get burgled. I've been such a fool.

To top it all off I've come home to find that the house we've not yet bought needs a bit of drainage replaced and the plumber/drainage specialist needs credit card details asap.

I should have stayed in bed this morning and not gone out of the house.

Those who can, teach

That's the tagline of an advert for the TTA. Five months ago I would have laughed at that tagline. The advert annoyed me and I switched the channels if it came on the telly. Five months ago I was ready to quit teaching, never look back, pack up my OHT sheets and stacks of diagrams and leave the profession.

A few things have changed in five months.

One of my year 11s (currently on study leave) came to see me today to give me a card. A thank you card. It was a wonderful gesture that nearly brought me to tears. Kids don't usually say Thanks to their teachers and nobody expects thanks. So, a little gesture like that means the world to a secondary school teacher.

The last five months have been fruitful. I've made steady, but slow progress with a few students who used to give me trouble. I say used to because they don't really anymore. I've managed to build relationships with them and we've moved forward. They're responsive and they even help out to keep some of the others quiet. It's progress that I wasn't expecting. From October to February, I felt like I was banging my head against the wall. Nothing was working. The kids were loud, disruptive, rude, uninterested and disconnected. The winter was long and dark and miserable. I felt exhausted and hopeless and I knew that there must be a better job out there for me. Any progress made was diminished by another catastrophy. It was crap.

When we came back from Poland in February, we knew that we had to stay in the UK for at least another year. And, almost at the same time, I began to see progress. I don't know what happened, whether it was my perseverance paying off or the kids getting tired of their games, but things began improving. Yes, it's not perfect and there are kids still misbehaving and disconnecting. The exam results for yr. 10 were crap, but they always are. The yr. 11s didn't want to revise, but who can blame them. I didn't want to revise either. But somehow, it all felt better.

Student A, chair thrower and "I'm not fucking doing this shit"-er is now asking questions, contributing to lessons, telling Student B and C to "shut up, Miss is talking". He still can't spell photosynthesis, but at least he seems to know that it needs light and water and carbon dioxide. Progress. Student D, the leader of "I'm not doing this, I don't understand, I don't want to read, I'm too thick, this is too hard" after a minute of face-to-face chats and patient explanations spends the rest of the lessons merrily doing the work set. Student E, Miss "I'm too busy checking my make-up", finished the coursework before anyone else and is beginning to pick her pen up and actually writes down some notes. It's amazing.

I wonder what they're up to.

I'm not naive. Next year isn't going to be any easier. But I guess if I persevere, I can get somewhere. If I treat them like human beings and offer tonnes and mountains of positive encouragement it might just work(even if it's just Hey, well done! You wrote the date down and the title correctly! Keep going, you're doing well!).

I guess I'll do this again next year. It's not so bad. Besides, the holidays are amazing.

I want to take pretty pictures of you

I want a digital camera. I have wanted one for a year now and some of the marking money will be earmarked to buy one (the rest is going towards the wedding). I know I want 2 Megapixels and up and I want optical zoom as well. I'd like a camera with flash (indoor photos and nightime ones, too) and with rechargeable batteries. But I don't know what model to decide on. I can't really afford to spend more than a couple hundred pounds, which I know doesn't buy much.

I'm doing some research on it, but I still don't know which one to get. Any suggestions?

No, I am not an outside person

Ally's comment about loving the outside made me think that I'm not really much of an outside person. When we lived together, Ally would spend every possible moment outside. She had a lovely lawn chair with feet supports and she spend hours in that chair sunning herself. At first, she spend her time on the balcony over the front of the house. But, eventually, the nosey landlady (who lived downstairs...I know, I know, never again will I live with a landlord/lady in the same building) got on her last nerves. So, she moved to the back of the house, to the large, grassy hill with lots of trees. For hours and hours she'd sit there reading, listening to music and relaxing in the sun.

My approach to the sun is a bit more cautious. Being fair-skinned and freckled, I've had a peely nose more than once in my life. As a child, I did spend large amounts of time outside because that's just what children should do. When I got older (and possibly when we moved to Canada), outside wasn't a place I wanted to be in. As Ally sunned herself, I stayed indoors usually only opening the doors to yell something to her one in a while. I would sit in front of my laptop (later stolen, but that's another story) and the television, listening to music while surfing, playing games (which I don't do anymore really) and writing emails.

When I did venture outside, it was usually close to the house and with my laptop firmly planted in my lap. Extension cords and all. If not attached to my laptop (hey, other people in the house wanted to write emails, too), I would read.

I was thinking about that last night before I fell asleep and I wondered just why many of my family and friends prefer to be outside. When I visit my parents back in Canada in the summer, they spend hours every evening outside. It's a struggle to get me outside to sit in the backyard. I'd rather be curled up on the sofa reading or in front of the computer. I just don't like it as much.

Is it odd?